Trouble in the Set!
by XxFleetingEmbracexX
Summary: The deadline for 'Twilight' is in a few weeks but the director can't seem to make the actors focus! Explanation inside. Crack-ish. Contains Slash! All-Human! One-shot for now!


Author Note: Okay this is my first crackish fic lol ^-^ alright a brief explanation on this fic: alright the twilight characters are the actors it's not robert or kristen or any of the real life actors but the actual characters themselves also they are all human! i decided to do it like this cuz i don't really like the real life actors for twilight lol so yeah... ^^"

Warnings: Major and I mean MAJOR OCC! OC! All-Human! a bit of Bella bashing and a bit of 'Twilight' bashing...i think n.n oh and Slash! yup can't have one of my stories with out some slash! XD

Disclaimer: NOT MINE!!! XO

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"Alright people." The director said, but was mercilessly ignored by all of the actors.

"Alright people!" She said a bit louder this time, however she was again ignored.

"Alright.....SHUT THE HELL UP PEOPLE!!!!" She snapped. Everyone fell silent and turned to stare at the fuming director.

"Maaaaan you don't have to be so loud..." Alice whined as she rubbed her temple with her fingers.

"Yes I do have to be so loud because you people don't listen to me! We are only a few weeks away from releasing 'Twilight' the greatest most romanticist movie EVER!' The director said proudly.

"Pfft...whatever." Jacob scoffed.

"Ha! Jacob is just mad coz he isn't in the first movie as much!" Rosalie snickered. The director's eye slightly twitched as she saw her young actors begin to drift away from topic again.

"What the hell is 'romanticist'?" Emmett questioned.

"That's not even a word Em...I think." Edward answered.

"Why am I such an idiot in this movie?" Bella asked while holding the script close to her face. The more she read the further she was repulsed by her character.

"Are you sure its just in the movie?" Rosalie snickered. Bella glared at her and threw her script at the blonde-haired girl.

"Yeah well at least I don't act like a major bitch in this movie!" Bella yelled while running to her dressing room. Both Carlisle and Jasper laughed at the two girls.

"Childish drama." Carlisle shook his head while smirking.

"Damn that hurt." Rosalie muttered while rubbing her head. By this point the director was about to go mad. Her cast was hopeless, she sighed this was going to be a long day.

"Okay you people get in position for the sixth scene NOW!!!" She screamed. The 'scene 6' actors quickly got in position once they saw the woman's vein popping.

"Alright Bella, you come out of the...uh...where's Bella?" The woman asked slightly irritated.

"She's in her dressing room." Edward informed her.

"Why? She is the main actress she has to be here!" The director said loudly, clearly fed up. She quickly rushed off to Bella's dressing room in order to bring her back.

"Soooo what to do we do now?" Emmett asked. The other cast members shrugged their shoulders not having an answer.

"Lunch break?" Tyler suggested.

"Yeah sure why not." Esme said and began to walk off, followed by the rest of the crew.

"NO WAY! You guys aren't going anywhere!" The director yelled once more while standing in front of the crew, a reluctant Bella at her side. "Now get back in position." She ordered.

*******Five days later*******

"So what's my motivation? I need a motivation. What's an actor without a motivation?" Alice ranted while the director glared at her. They were only two weeks away from their deadline and they hadn't gotten very far.

"You don't need a damn motivation just get out there and act dammit!" She screamed.

"How rude. It was just a simple question." Alice muttered to her self as she walked to the stage, where Jasper was waiting for her.

"I think you pushed her to far Alice." Jasper whispered to his co-worker as he saw their director take six Advil pills.

"Oops." She said.

"Jacob get your hands off me! That's sexual harassment!" Edward suddenly yelled as he ran away from said boy, who simply followed with a mischievous grin. He quickly caught up with the younger male and pinned him to the nearest wall.

"That's not what you said last night, Eddie." Jacob whispered seductively in Edward ear, making the boy underneath him slightly tremble.

"Oh my God. Somebody get a camera!" Angela squealed as she saw the two boys begin to make-out. Jessica quickly rushed to her side and began to take pictures of the two guys.

"Ewww." Eric and Mike said as they walked away from the squealing girls

"Haters!" The girls said in unison.

"You guys! Stop it! Not during filming!" The director snapped. "You two are distracting my cast." Jacob slowly separated from his lover, scowling.

"You two are supposed to be madly in love with me, well at least you are Edward." Bella said as she glared at the two.

"You wish." Jacob muttered.

"Only in the movie Bella not in real life." Edward replied while fixing his rumpled shirt.

"Yeah I know, now get your ass over here and pretend to love me!" Bella exclaimed.

"This was not part of my contract." The director muttered.

"I have a question director-lady why do I get killed off? And she gets to stay?" James asked irritated.

"Hey! What do you mean by that?" Victoria replied slightly irked.

"Well you know they usually kill of the girls first." James said matter-of-factly.

"You sexist pig!" Victoria yelled while glaring at James.

"Am not!

"Are too!

"I'm surrounded by idiots." Laurent sighed.

"My sentiments exactly." The director mumbled.

~~~~One week later~~~~

"Who the hell stole my cookies!?" Carlisle yelled as he held up an empty box of cookies. Tyler swiftly walked away while stuffing two chocolate chip cookies in his mouth. Emmett just shook his head in amusement.

"You all are going to be the death of me." The director said while rubbing her temples in frustration. It was yet another day with the 'Twilight' crew.

"Aww cheer up we only have one more week together!" Esme said cheerfully.

"I don't think that worked, she still looks like she wants to kill herself." Jasper responded.

"Just please, please get in you positions for the final scenes." The director pleaded.

"Well we would but...we're missing two actors." Alice said nervously.

"Who?"

"N-no we're h-here!" Edward said as he rushed to the stage, his face a light pink and his clothes disheveled.

"We just got...sidetracked." Jacob replied while smirking his eyes still roaming over Edward's body. The director just rolled her eyes.

"Anyway now that we are all here let's finish this thing." She said firmly.

^^^^Day Of Deadline^^^^

"Congratulations! You did a wonderful job!"

"It was spectacular!"

"Very well done!"

"You are an amazing director!" The swarm of compliments were like music to the directors ears. She had met her deadline and done her part of the deal, now it was up to the other people to edit the scenes. She was truly happy with the outcome and was even more happy that she would never work with that cast again!

"Alright you did a wonderful job! Just remember you only get a two month vacation before we start to begin on the second installment of the 'Twilight saga'." The producer informed her.

"W-What?" The director asked in shock.

"Of course you'll be directing 'New Moon' after the wonderful job you did with 'Twilight'! Well see you in two months." The producer said while he left the busy room, leaving a shocked and confused director behind.

"What?"

~~~END!~~~

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AN: Yup kinda short but this was done on an impulse lol but i think it was pretty good XD Don't know if I should continue on i think i might since i had so much fun with this one and i couldn't use all the other characters from the second book so i might XD

**Anyway please review and tell me what you think! :D Flamers will be used to light my candles! x3**


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